Waiting for the sun

Dear Kittens,

1. Since I am back in the mode of exercising regularly right now that means getting up before the sun. I woke up a little earlier than usual and now I'm waiting until it gets more light out. I have this crazy issue of wanting to see where I'm going. I love going to bed early and getting up early. My farmer genes are quite strong apparently and this is the sort of schedule and works best for me. I almost always wake up in a good mood and ready to get started. The mornings right now are extra crisp and I love that, too.

2. I've been reading a lot of Kent Haruf lately and am developing a crush on the plain states. This has happened before. When an author loves where he/she lives and it's often a character in their books, I find it impossible to not to start to fall in love with the landscapes they describe. First it was Ellen Gilchrist and the south. Despite the fact that I've never visited the south, I know I would love it because it plays such a huge roll in some of my favorite books. Then it was EM Forrester's Italy. Now it's Kent Haruf's Colorado and the plain states.

3. The thing where I don't nag my husband anymore? It's going pretty well. I admit to some minor tongue injuries while not saying certain things, but over all it's a weight lifted from me. It's not that things don't irritate me, because they do, it's that I'm just not saying anything. The relief it brings me comes from the re-realization that I am not the boss. It's not my job to be sure that Andy is doing his job. It's my job to take care of my stuff and believe that Andy is capable of taking care of his stuff. I know that sometimes women marry men who are completely unwilling to participate in the day to day upkeep of a life. I am pretty certain that my vagina would instantly seal up in that sort of a situation, but maybe I'm wrong. Alls I know is, this is working out well for both of us right now.

4. Tuesdays are my life coach days. This time around, our agenda is being drive by me and that's good. I'm not sure if I'll continue past these 12 weeks, except for periodic check ins, though. I am moving forward in a way that feels very good and not all herky jerky like before. One very positive thing Life Coach had me so was set boundaries for myself. As in- how bad does something have to get before you do something about it. I've found it very helpful to put boundaries like that on myself. I set boundaries for my house (if it is going to take more than an hour to make my house company ready, I need to stop everything and clean up), for exercise (if it's been more than a week since I last exercised, I get started) and so on.

5. Wow, I started this 14 hours ago! And now I officially have nothing to say. Except that I'm ready for bed and it feels chilly and there's nothing better than sleeping with the windows better when it's chilly.

Love,

Catie Anchev

Catie to the stars.